Bio Mom Out of Jail Already and Wants Visitation

Well, thanks to this wonderful judicial system of ours, bio Mom is out of jail after only 1 month.  And, she has requested visitation with her children.  A normal request, because, of course, they are her children.  And, the county has to comply because her visitation was not addressed at the last hearing.  So, off we go to a visit tomorrow.  Now, the caseworker tells me that Mom is still planning on signing consent, but not sure when.  Uh huh.  I have been down this road before.  I know to let these words go in one ear and out the other.  Mom knows this case is going to termination, but I have a feeling she's going to fight til the end.  I can't blame her.  I am a Mom too, and know I would do the same thing, no matter if I knew I had done wrong or not.  So, we will see how this all plays out.  I wish I could fast forward this case and press play!
Blessings,
The Queen Mama

BREAKING NEWS: Bio Mom Pregant Again!

There is just never a dull moment in this case.  Make that any case when it comes to adopting through foster care.  Make that just doing foster care, without the intent to adopt.  I have done both.  At Sweet Pea's last hearing,(that didn't happen, but happened for her brothers, who are tied into her case), Bio Mom refused to sign over her parental rights.  I do not begrudge her this, as that is extremely difficult for a mother to do, and I don't think I could do it either.  Sweet Pea had her actual hearing this past week.  I did not have to attend.
Caseworker told me that Bio Mom and Dad were both considering signing over consent to adoption since they were told that aggravated circumstances have been filed for Dad and would be filed for Mom, meaning once their parental rights were terminated, they would not be able to have any children in their care for the next three years.
 BREAKING NEWS:  Caseworker found out at the hearing that Mom is pregnant again! Not sure how far along.  However, this news means that if her rights are terminated, the baby will be immediately removed from her care at birth (and placed with us-caseworker already asked), and be free for adoption.
Wow!! Regardless, the children already in foster care are heading for adoption.  Rights will be terminated whether they volunteer, or the court finds.  So, the future of this unborn child lay in their hands right now.  If they sign, they get to keep their child, but will most likely be under the scrutiny of child services.  If they don't sign, they will lose their child to child services.   Father in Heaven, I pray that these birth parents may find You in their lives, as their life and the future of their child are at stake.  I pray that when they are released from prison, they are able to eventually turn their life around, and realize that their children are the most precious gifts and that they are number one priority.  In Jesus Name, Amen.
Thank you, dear readers for your continued prayers through posts, emails, and even just in your hearts!
Blessings,
The Queen Mama

A Visit With Mom in Handcuffs

Sweet Pea had her permanency hearing last week.  Well, her brothers had theirs, hers was postponed because Bio Dad said he did not know about it (although he's in jail, and my letter states it went to him and his lawyer), but anyway, it is rescheduled.  However, since I was present at the sibling hearing (which Sweet Pea's was a part of), and Bio Mom was present, we had to endure a "visit".  Bio Mom requested visitation for that day during the hearing with the judge and he complied.  Bio Mom, who sat there in her prison stripes, shackled legs and handcuffs...Bio Mom, who violated her probation when she left the state with her prison escapee boyfriend, who left her children for 3 months without a good-bye, without a note, without a call to the caseworker....who would still be "on the lam" if she wasn't apprehended.  Bio Mom, who has seen her 9 month old baby girl a total of 24 hours over 6 months since she was born...wants a visit.  Forgive my crassness, but the system really stinks!
Anyway, the deputies took Bio Mom to a very small room and removed her cuffs.  I took Sweet Pea to see her.  Two caseworkers came with me.  Bio Mom cried when she held Sweet Pea.  Perhaps, since she was now sober after being incarcerated for three weeks, she could clearly see the consequences of her actions, what she gave up...a precious little life...the life she and her boyfriend made...a life she knows she will lose the rights to soon...all to be with her boyfriend, for drugs, for whatever...I, of course, was very nice to Bio Mom, and answered questions she posed to me about Sweet Pea.  I don't hate this person, or loathe her.  I don't feel sorry for her, as she made her choices.  I do, however, empathize with her as one mother to another...I could tell by her face, her tears, that she did realize how precious Sweet Pea is...Does she hate me?  I don't know.  She has never shown it.  I do know that she wants post adoption contact, and that is not going to happen.  So, the answer to my previous question may change...
Such is adoption through foster care..
Blessings, my dear readers,
The Queen Mama

Headed for Adoption!!

Happy happy joy joy!!  The caseworker visited us today.  She said our case is definitely headed for adoption.  Bio Dad being incarcerated for a long time, and incapable of parenting.  Bio Mom incarcerated and incapable of parenting. No termination hearings set yet, but will be after permanency hearing next week, unless Mom consents prior.  I never like to hope or declare before things are final, so I am still cautious.  No grandparents have expressed interest, except one, who is also an addict and criminal.  The agency assured me they would not even consider placement with her.  BUT, you never know what will happen in a case, and anything can happen.  So, my heart sings, however cautiously at this news we received today.  Thank you for your continued prayers!
Many Blessings to You on your Journey, whatever it may be,
The Queen Mama

Breaking News~Bio Parents Found

Sweet Pea's bio parents have been missing~Bio Dad escaped house arrest 4 months ago, and Bio Mom skipped town while on probation a little less than 4 months ago.  I was informed yesterday by caseworker that they were both apprehended and are incarcerated.  Bio Dad should be going away for quite a few years, as he accumulated more charges while on the run.  Bio Mom should be out in a few months.  But, her lawyer indicated she may be willing to sign consent to adoption for all of her children.  In other words, she may voluntarily terminate her own parental rights. This has got to be THE most heart wrenching decision for a parent to make.  If she does not sign her rights away, the agency will file for termination of her rights, and a court hearing will ensue with the Judge making the decision. Bio Dad's rights are already in the process of being terminated for aggravated circumstances (abandonment for 6 months or more).
Now don't get me wrong, as a foster parent, I always hope and pray that the bio parents will get their lives together and be awarded custody of their children.  However, as a foster adoptive parent, as in this case, I truly feel, no.....make that, I truly KNOW that these parents are unable to parent their children.  (and Bio Dad is only the father of Sweet Pea-not the other children).  They abandoned their children.  Walked away.  Chose drugs and a life of crime. Severe mental health issues that result in being a danger to themselves and others.  So, dear readers, I again put this case, this child, in the hands of God and pray he chooses to keep this baby girl in a stable, loving family environment. 
Many blessings to you on your journey,
The Queen Mama

What a Beautiful Family You Have!

My husband and I took our children and foster baby girl to the river for the weekend.  Dear friends of ours have a beautiful vacation home right on the river, and offered it to us, free of charge.  They knew we had not been able to take a vacation this summer because we had been caring for Cutie Patootie and Sweet Pea.  Since Cutie Patootie was sent to live with her grandparents, we jumped at the chance to go. (much less chaos in the group.)  Anyway, we had a great time.  Saturday, Big Daddy and the boys went down the river in big inter tubes.  They had a blast.  Princess, Sweet Pea and I waited on the shore for them, and a light rain had started.
 They all showered, and we headed out to dinner at a local restaurant.  It was crowded, but we managed to get a table for 7 fairly quickly.  I noticed what looked like a wealthier retired couple sitting next to us.  They were dressed very nicely, and drinking wine from fancy glasses.  Here sat me, with my frizzy hair from the rain, no makeup, and my crew~all of us in "play clothes" because we were at the river.  The couple kept looking at us and talking in low voices.  I cringed to myself, thinking they probably wished all these children were not seated right next to them.
So, to my surprise, when we left, the couple stopped me (everyone had gone ahead of me).  The wife said, "Excuse me.  What a beautiful family you have."  "Thank you.", I told her, waiting for the BUT part to come.  It never came-she went on to say how impressed she was with our children, that they were so well behaved, and how you don't see big families anymore, and how much she loved seeing big families.  I told her thank you again and how blessed we feel to have a big family as well.  I did not go into the "We are foster parents shpiel (is that even a word?)"  or that we adopted through foster care.  I simply grinned from ear to ear as we walked to the car, happy that our family looked like it belonged together, knowing that we do. 
Now, Queen Mama is a BIG advocate of foster care and adoption through foster care and usually always tell curious people our story.  But, for this weekend, I just relished being a family...not a foster family, not an adoptive family, just a beautiful family...
Blessings to you and your beautiful family,
The Queen Mama
http://www.soylicious.com/candlequeen

Candles anyone? My New Moms Work From Home Business!

Well dear readers, The Queen Mama has added another business to her plate.  I love the blessing of being a stay at home Mama, but living on one income with many children does have it's setbacks.  I am an entrepreneur at heart, having worked transcription, data entry, sales, and customer service for the past several years.  However, with the addition of our new baby, the foster kids that come and go, being on the phone, or transcribing with little ones has become next to impossible.  So, I have found a wonderful business called Soylicious that sells yummy scented soy candles, soaps, and sprays.  They burn clean and best yet, are made in the good ole' USA!!  I always burn scented candles to help my home be welcoming and hospitable.  Check out my website: http://www.soylicious.com/candlequeen (like my name? Thought I would stick with the Queen theme)  You may find something you just love-great for your home or gifts for any occasion ~CHRISTMAS~ will be here before you know it!  OR, if you've always wanted to work from home, visit the OPPORTUNITY page on my site.  You can sell strictly online!  It's that easy! Blessings! The Queen Mama