"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him." 1 Samuel 1:27
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Saturday, April 28, 2012

Bio Mom Changes Visit Date~AGAIN!

Okay. Tell me why, when part of the bio parents' goal plan is to be responsible and keep appointments, etc. etc., does the agency bend over backwards to accommodate visit changes almost each and every week?  Parents have a set day and time to visit their children.  Dad is in jail, with no visits, and Mom lost her job and doesn't work.  Almost every week, there is an issue with the same scheduled visit time.  The agency then calls me and presents me with alternate visit times for that week.  I have always said yes and changed my schedule for bio mom.  BUT, this week, Bio Mom decided she was going away for a long weekend.  My first little Princess had a preschool field trip, and I said no.  I was not making her miss it for bio mom's sake.  So, we picked another day.  I just think that bio mom should be held to keep her appointed time, unless it's a true need for a good reason to change it.  Parenting requires responsibility to get your child to appointments on time, school on time, etc., etc., and I think being on time and keeping visit appointments is just as important.  Whew!  Always feel better when I vent to you!
Have a blessed weekend!
The Queen Mama

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Bio Mom Out of Rehab

Well, bio Mom was in rehab for 3 weeks.  We have had 2 visits in a row with her (1 per week) since she's been out.  I don't see much of a change in her, except that she doesn't seem to be slurring her speech, which is a good sign.  Perhaps she will be able to stave off the cravings that drive her to drugs.  I truly wish the best for her!  She does seem to be a bit more short tempered with her older children during the visits, frequently yelling at them, but I am not to judge.  I am sure she has a lot of stressors in her life right now, and is doing her best, to whatever capabilities she has.
 I do so wish I could speed up time and know the outcome of this journey, but I will have to leave it up to God and believe that as he tells us,  for everything, there is a season.
The Queen Mama

Monday, April 9, 2012

Awful Foster Adoptive Questions

Well, I have finally received probably one of the most common offending foster/adoption questions yet from a far off relative at our Easter dinner yesterday.  Although ignorant to the "adoption protocol" wording, I'm sure, and not meaning any ill will...this distant relative who I only met last year asked me out of our 5 children, which ones were our "real" children.  While not wanting to make a scene in front of our 75 or so relatives gathered in the room, I bit my tongue and simply stated that they are all my real children, but we have 3 bio children, 1 adoptive, and 1 foster.

For the love of Pete, (an old saying in my parts), why do people not think before they speak? Just last week, my best friend of over 20 years, who is so upset she did not biologically have a girl, but says she could never adopt, ambushed me while I was visiting her home, and told me she had some "concerns" about my having another foster child in the home.
 She then asked me WHY did I need a baby to make me happy? I was like, WHAT?!?!?!?  I don't need a baby to make me happy...  I am happy to help a child that needs a temporary parent.  She then proceeded to tell me she was "concerned" that my older children would suffer by not being able to go to sports or vacations, etc.  How can I do that with another baby in the house, she wanted to know?

 I could not believe she was implying that I was neglecting my older children, which she had brought up to me a couple years prior when we adopted Princess.  I assured her in not so nice words that my children would still play sports, still go on vacations, still have new clothes, still have one on one attention, still have parental supervision, still have family game nights, still have friends over, still have help with homework, etc!!!! More than what takes place in her household!!!  I told her we are capable of taking baby along with us wherever we go, and that if anything, MY children are learning to love unconditionally, volunteer, be selfless, live with a servant's heart, be generous, kind, and loving by being a foster family!!!!  I then told her it was not about US, it was about the CHILDREN we are helping, and that my life was none of her darn concern!!!!!

Can you please tell me, What the heck is WRONG with people???!!!!!

Lord, help me to forgive this ignorance (though I won't forget, and am not sure as to what context I will be continuing the friendship.)

Love & Blessings,
The Queen Mama