Well, I have finally received probably one of the most common offending foster/adoption questions yet from a far off relative at our Easter dinner yesterday. Although ignorant to the "adoption protocol" wording, I'm sure, and not meaning any ill will...this distant relative who I only met last year asked me out of our 5 children, which ones were our "real" children. While not wanting to make a scene in front of our 75 or so relatives gathered in the room, I bit my tongue and simply stated that they are all my real children, but we have 3 bio children, 1 adoptive, and 1 foster.
For the love of Pete, (an old saying in my parts), why do people not think before they speak? Just last week, my best friend of over 20 years, who is so upset she did not biologically have a girl, but says she could never adopt, ambushed me while I was visiting her home, and told me she had some "concerns" about my having another foster child in the home.
She then asked me WHY did I need a baby to make me happy? I was like, WHAT?!?!?!? I don't need a baby to make me happy... I am happy to help a child that needs a temporary parent. She then proceeded to tell me she was "concerned" that my older children would suffer by not being able to go to sports or vacations, etc. How can I do that with another baby in the house, she wanted to know?
I could not believe she was implying that I was neglecting my older children, which she had brought up to me a couple years prior when we adopted Princess. I assured her in not so nice words that my children would still play sports, still go on vacations, still have new clothes, still have one on one attention, still have parental supervision, still have family game nights, still have friends over, still have help with homework, etc!!!! More than what takes place in her household!!! I told her we are capable of taking baby along with us wherever we go, and that if anything, MY children are learning to love unconditionally, volunteer, be selfless, live with a servant's heart, be generous, kind, and loving by being a foster family!!!! I then told her it was not about US, it was about the CHILDREN we are helping, and that my life was none of her darn concern!!!!!
Can you please tell me, What the heck is WRONG with people???!!!!!
Lord, help me to forgive this ignorance (though I won't forget, and am not sure as to what context I will be continuing the friendship.)
Love & Blessings,
The Queen Mama