"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him." 1 Samuel 1:27
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Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Permanency Review Hearing Saw Bio Dad

Little Sweet Pea had a permanency review hearing this week.  It was quite a surprise, actually, because it had been canceled the week before.  The caseworker said she didn't know why.  Then she called last minute and said, I need you at the courthouse for a hearing for Sweet Pea's brothers, just so the courts can see Sweet Pea, as they must every 6 months, since hear hearing was canceled.  You can leave right after they see her.  No need to stay.  So, off Sweet Pea and I went to the courthouse.  A caseworker called me into the hallway to talk before the boys' hearing.  Two prison guards came walking by with a cuffed and shackled inmate in an orange jumpsuit.  I didn't think twice as this happens on a regular basis in the courthouse.  But then, my mouth about hit the floor when I realized it was Sweet Pea's bio father!  He looked at me and out of my shock and nervousness I blurted out "Hi, (his name)".  He said "Hi."  Then walked away, then must have realized who I was and stopped, turned around and did a double take at me, then Sweet Pea.  The guards pulled him away.  I didn't understand why he was there.   The caseworker said, "I was trying to shield you from him.  Why did you say hi?"  I said, "Well, I'm obviously going to be in the courtroom with him anyway, so what's the difference?"  So, we go in to courtroom, no one dismisses me.  Bio Dad not in there. I sit through court for the brothers.  Everyone gets up to leave.  Judge says, where's everyone going?  Sweet Pea has a review hearing.  Everyone says, no.  It was canceled last week.  We don't have anything on our agenda for her hearing.  Judge said inmate dad is here, everyone's here, we're having a hearing.  Recess.  We go outside...Sweet Pea's caseworker called off that day, so her supervisor was filling in. Knew nothing about her case.  Agency attorney on vacation-sub attorney filling in.  Knows nothing about her case.  So, they both sit me down and do a 2 minute grill down on me of the case.  I tell them Dad is criminal with serious charges against him and I don't want to be in courtroom for him to focus his angst onto me.  They agree, and I sit outside and wait.  Court starts.  5 minutes later, prison guard opens door and says they are bringing bio dad out and do I want to leave the room so I don't have to encounter him.  Yes.  I leave room.  Go to different waiting room.  Wait 15 minutes.  No one gets me.  I go back to courtroom.  It's empty.  No one bothered to tell me what happened after hearing.  I go up the stairs, and Sweet Pea's GAL is coming down. He stops me and says that Bio Dad asked to see Sweet Pea for a visit during hearing that day.  GAL told him no.  I said that's good cause he's only ever seen her twice and not since she was 2 months old.  Never requested another visit, and has aggravated circumstances granted against him.  Hearing was fast, he said.  Nothing changed.  Termination of parental rights scheduled in  near future.  So, that was my crazy, unexpected permanency review hearing.  Never plan for a straight simple route in your foster adoption journey.  There are many bumps, twists, and turns along the road. 
Blessings, my dear readers,
The Queen Mama

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Bio Mom's Hearing Delayed!!

Just found out that Bio Mom's consent hearing was pushed back with Bio Dad's termination hearing.  She filed waaaaay back in October and what should have taken a few months is now taking 6 months.  This is just ridiculous.  Like I said before, this court system is a whole lot of hurry up and wait.  I knew this from our past experience, but sometimes I am like a doe-eyed, naive little girl who only thinks the best of things...So, this gives Bio Mom another 2 months to request a final visit.  I do hate this limbo period, but I do know it is worth it in the end!  For my little Sweet Pea is already my daughter in my heart...a piece of legal paper only tells me what I already know.

Monday, March 4, 2013

No Final Visit and Termination Pushed Back

Turns out Bio Mom never called for a final visit.  I was a bit perplexed, as I thought for sure she would.  She asked for a final visit with her two boys, but not Sweet Pea.  The caseworker feels there was never a bond between her and Sweet Pea, as we brought her to our home directly from the hospital.  She also said that Bio Mom seemed frustrated with Sweet Pea at her last visit over a month ago.  So this past month of wondering and worry has been for naught....Also~Bio Dad's termination hearing has been rescheduled~won't happen for almost two more months!!!! How I hate the scheduling of the court system!  Apparently Bio Dad, who has not seen Sweet Pea since she was two months old (over a year ago), nor sent any letters, requested any information about her, etc... is now bound and determined to have custody of his child turned over to his mother who is about as unsuitable to parent as they come. (Alcoholic, thief, gave her son a full crack pipe for his 16th birthday).  That kind of unsuitable.  Do I sound bitter?  Heck yes, I'm bitter.  As I said before, it takes more than DNA to parent a child.  Bio Dad has not been a parent at all and hasn't tried to parent.  He walked away.  Now he feels he should be able to determine what's best for her.  Wow, Queen Mama is ranting and raving today.  These are the days/times where I have to pause, calm down,  and turn it all over to the One who already knows what the outcome of this case will be:  my Heavenly Father. 
Blessings to you in your journeys!
The Queen Mama