"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him." 1 Samuel 1:27
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Tuesday, May 29, 2012

So Excited! Another Little Girl!

Just got back from picking up a beautiful little two year old girl.  She is sweet and all smiles.  Not sure how long she will be with us, but we are happy to take care of her while she is with us.  Our 4 year old daughter was excited and she did her "showing off" by doing cartwheels, somersaults, and acting silly.  We are always sure to give our kids extra attention when we get a placement, especially the little ones.  This little girl will have parental and extended family visits with her grandparents, and that is fine with us. 
The Queen Mama

Friday, May 25, 2012

Mom missed Visit

Bio Mom a no-show for her visit today.  She had been doing so well.  I'm wondering if she is relapsing or if maybe she just slept in?  Still no info on Bio Dad's whereabouts.  Also-A big thank you for all the support I am receiving via email.  I love hearing from you!
Enjoy the Memorial Day weekend~Thank a Veteran!
The Queen Mama

Thursday, May 17, 2012

The Case is in Chaos

I have told you prior that the journey of foster to adopt is a roller coaster of emotions and events.  This case has certainly had those moments, but this by far is the most extreme.  Well, Bio Dad was on house arrest.  Then he was in jail for a couple of months.  Hasn't seen Sweet Pea since February, and that was only at a court hearing.  He had missed visits for a month.  Anyway, apparently he qualified for a rehab program that would put him back on house arrest.  So, was put on house arrest on a Friday, and took off his bracelet and skipped town Saturday.  This was a couple of weeks ago.  He's still on the lam. Bio Dad is dangerous, and it worries me that he is on the loose, and I hope he is apprehended soon.  But in the meantime, he let the caseworker know that he wanted his father to have custody of Sweet Pea. (leading the caseworker to believe he was still on house arrest-this is before the police know he is missing.) The father stated he would take custody of Sweet Pea.  I asked the caseworker if this was a possibility.  She didn't say yes, and didn't say no.

Grandpa has a drug and criminal conviction history.  Apparently, he is also ill.  He and Bio Dad have been estranged for years.  He has never seen Sweet Pea.  Caseworker has not heard from Grandpa since she spoke with him a couple weeks ago.  So, we will see what happens.

On the other hand, Bio Mom is drug free (good for her!) and is starting to work her plan, yet still has poor parenting interactions with her children during visits.   She still has 3 months til her permanency hearing with her other children, which also affects our Sweet Pea.  She may get her life and parenting skills together in that time period, well enough for the agency to recommend the children go back to her. As a Mom, I know I would want my kids back, but I also know I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize them being taken in the first place.  It breaks my heart to think of Sweet Pea leaving us, but if it must be, it must be. We foster parents don't have much say in the whole scheme of things.  We have to wait and see, and that is the hardest part.  Not knowing.

In all things, give thanks to God,
The Queen Mama

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Princess's Preschool Mother's Day Tea

My Little Princess and I had a Mother's Day Tea at Preschool today.  She picked out her favorite party dress, and we put a new bow in her hair.  "I think I look pretty, Mama.", she said before we left.  "I hope the other girls Mamas dressed them in pretty dresses.  My teacher said I could wear my fancy dress."   I told her how beautiful she looked, and off we went to the tea.  The children were on stage, and sang songs and said poems, and the teacher asked each child why they love their Moms.  Princess said, "I love my Mommy because she takes me on walks."  So cute.

The children then proceeded to serve their Mommies punch (this Mama was so nervous that the red punch would spill on Princess's favorite white and pink dress), but she did a fabulous job and didn't spill a drop!  The Mommies had danishes, and the children had cookies and fruit snacks.  You can see in the picture above that Princess made me a flower pot and an adorable little wooden treasure box.  When you open it, she wrote X O (hugs and kisses) on the inside bottom, and there were 2 Hershey kisses in it.  The orange paper you see is a paper with their hand prints on it, and on the other side is a picture of Princess on her first day of school, and one of her this past week.  It shows us how much she has grown.

I had a wonderful time, and I still can't believe that this little girl standing on stage calling me Mama is actually mine!  Her adoption has been final for 2 1/2 years, and we have had her for 4 1/2 years, (since she was almost 5 months)  but it still seems like the journey for us to be her forever family is fresh in my mind.   I love all my children so much, and am so thankful that God placed adoption in our hearts, and placed this child with our family.  She is strong willed, never wants to go to sleep,and  is as rough and tumble as her brothers, but I wouldn't change her a single bit!  She is wonderfully made by our Almighty Father, and we praise his Goodness!
The Queen Mama

Part of the motions of a song (the person was sleeping).

Sunday, May 13, 2012

A Mommy's Day Wish

Today is Mother's Day.  What is a Mother?  Traditionally, it is the person who gave birth to you and nurtured you throughout your life.  But for some, it is a grandmother, aunt, family friend, foster mom, or someone else who stepped in to fill that role, even temporarily, when the birth mother couldn't. 

Part of my heart is with Sweet Pea's birth mom today.  I am sure it is difficult for her.  I know she loves her children, just as I love mine.

I love Mother's Day.  Not only is it a day to honor my Mom, it is a day for me to reflect on each blessed child the Lord has placed in my care.  It is a day for me to give thanks, for I love being a Mommy!  I have worn many different hats in many different careers.  My favorite is that of Mother! 

My wish to all Moms today, whether birth Mom, Foster Mom, Adoptive Mom, Surrogate Mom, or other Mom, is for your hearts to be filled with Love, Joy, and Happiness! May you be pampered with hugs and kisses today for all the things you do for your family!

For those of you who are just starting on your journey to become a Mommy, whether through birth, foster care, or adoption, my prayers are for you as well. Keep the faith!

May you be Blessed today and everyday!
The Queen Mama

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

The Queen Mama Needs to Live in the Moment!

Okay friends.  Help me out here.  I need some encouragement and support.  Yes, I have been down this road before.  I have traveled this journey and have had 6 foster children return to either a parent or kinship placement.  So why am I jumping ahead of things and fixating on the next court date (not til June), Mom's progress, Sweet Pea's first birthday (7 months away), etc. etc.  I need to stop and take a deep breath and enjoy the here and now. 
I think with every new little thing Sweet Pea does, like starting to roll over, laugh at things the kids do, seeing my oldest boys just melt when they hold her and play with her, has got me entrenched in high hopes.  I can't let myself do that until we know for sure what's going to happen.  I really need to lean on God to settle my heart, live day by day,  and to focus on encouraging bio Mom right now (even though I don't talk to her much.  She usually doesn't say much, but once in awhile will open up to me about what is going on with her).    Just felt like I had to get this feeling into writing, verify it, and hope it goes away soon!
As always, Blessings to you,
The Queen Mama

Friday, May 4, 2012

A Tug On My Mommy Heartstrings Today

I took Sweet Pea to a visit with Bio Mom today.  Her 4th in a row since she's gotten out of rehab.  That has not happened in the 4 1/2 months that we've had Sweet Pea.  Mom usually makes two in a row, then misses two, or one, etc.  So, maybe rehab has helped her, and as a Christian, I hope so.  However, as a human being Mama that looks into that sweet chubby little face everyday, feeds her, bathes her, prays for her, and rocks her to sleep,  I have to say that today when I dropped her off, I felt a tremendous tug on my heartstrings.  This is what I felt:  Angst, protective mama bear instincts, ownership, loss, emptiness, something missing.  Such is the life of a foster Mommy.  Some cases are easier than others. Some parents really do try their hardest to turn their life around, and we foster mamas are glad to see the children back in the bio home.  Reunification is always the first goal. 

However, in this case, the parents started their walk with child services with Moms other two children 6 1/2 months before Sweet Pea was born. So, this puts them and us at almost the end of the journey.  The caseworker doesn't tell me a whole lot, but I do know that for the first 6 months, parents did nothing to work their plan to support reunification, and don't think they're doing much this 6 months. The feeling I get from the caseworker is that its not looking good. Mental health problems play a role, dangerous criminal charges, jail, drugs, anger issues, lack of parenting skills.

I know that Sweet Pea is not mine.  I know at this visit that I was looking at, and speaking to her mother.  Sometimes, when I'm praying for Bio Mom, I find myself not really wanting to pray, but doing so because I feel that is what I should do as a Christian, but how bad is that for a Christian??? Okay, here it is:  I'm really hoping that Bio Mom gets her life together, but that my family gets to keep Sweet Pea.  The brutal honesty of my feelings scares me, and I wish that I could feel otherwise, but I intended this blog to show what it's really like to travel this foster to adopt journey, so I'm not going to sugarcoat it.  You do get attached.  Simple as that.  So anyway friends, please continue to pray God's will for this little sweetie pie, and for my family that we may accept God's will, no matter the outcome.  It is a difficult journey of emotions, but I STILL would do it again and again, for the most precious of God's gifts, the children.
Blessings to you no matter what journey you are embarking on.
The Queen Mama

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Still Grateful to Be a Foster Mom!

Have I sounded like a "negative Nancy" lately?  Am I scaring you away from foster care instead of leading you towards it?  Let me tell you just how much I am grateful for the opportunity to be a foster mommy!  I have always loved children, and have always had that mothering instinct.  Growing up with a single mom, I babysat my sister A LOT at age 10.  I started babysitting others at age 11.  Young children flocked to me at any family gathering.  I used to beg my mother to no avail to adopt a little boy.  I used to beg her to sponsor children in other countries.  When a teenaged family friend asked us to babysit her 1 year old son for an evening and didn't come back for a week, I begged my Mom to intervene and let us keep the child. (I was 16).  Didn't happen.  But, I guess you can see how God had put Adoption on my heart at an early age.  I am so glad he did. He blessed me with my own biological children, and after not being able to have anymore children by those means, has blessed me so far with 9 more little souls to love!

Matthew 18:5 -"And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me."

I so appreciate having the honor of caring for children.  Through all the ups and downs, the treading of unsteady waters, all I have to do is look into the eyes of these perfect little beings created by my Almighty Father, and realize that the journey is not about me, it is about them, and it's what God has intended for my ministry. To be able to protect from harm, to love and cherish while they are with us.