Hello Dear Friends.
First
and foremost, I must apologize for keeping you in suspense about the
outcome of my journey. We had hit some snags and I no longer had the
heart to post. I almost felt like if I didn't write or talk about it,
it wasn't really happening, and all the stressful things would go away.
Well, I was wrong!
Anyway, first things
first. As you can see by the title of this post, after 22 long months,
we adopted Princess in November 2009! " I prayed for this child, and
the Lord granted me what I asked of him. " 1 Samuel 1:27. Our final
hearing was the termination of parental rights hearing. Bio Dad showed
up without a lawyer. His lawyer had removed himself from the case
because bio Dad refused to meet with him when asked, did not return
phone calls, etc. Bio Dad was advised to obtain a public defender by a
certain date, and had not. Princess's lawyer advised Bio Dad, with
witnesses, that he was most likely going to lose this case, and it would
be in his best interests to voluntarily give up his rights, if he
wanted rights to future children within the next 3 years. Bio Dad gave
up his rights in court that day, much to our amazement. It was if all
the ups and downs of the past two years were melting away, all in a
single moment. Our caseworker hugged us. We were in shock. I felt
some sort of pity for Bio Dad, as it could not have been an easy
decision to make. However, he had outright told us he did not want her,
did not see her for almost 6 months, then missed visits when he decided
his girlfriend wanted her, then had not come to visits for another
three months straight. Did not have a home, a job, a car, etc. etc. I
do know, however, that he was trying to see his son. I think his angst
at the signing was over his son, and not so much Princess. I did and
still do pray for him, and truly hope he gets his life together.
A
slight glitch on Adoption Day. I would not let anything ruin my joy,
but something sure did try. Bio paternal grandparents showed up with
their lawyer at the courthouse right before our adoption hearing, and
wanted us to sign papers stating that they could continue visitation.
They have been nothing but good to Princess, but selfishly, We refused.
I was upset. I felt like it was our day, and they were trying to ruin
it. However, I did tell them we would continue visitation, and we
have. They see her every few months in our home for an hour or two, and
it has worked out well. I think it is good for her to know where she
comes from (if only on her father's side.)
We
are so blessed to have this wonderful little addition to our family.
She is three now, and brings love and joy to all of us. So many more
crazy details happened during this journey than I haven't written
about. Some just too much to wrap my head around and write about.
For me, this journey was quite harrowing, scary, stressful, heart
wrenching and crazy at times...It certainly tested my faith at times,
and showed me sides of people I didn't think existed in my nice little
bubble of the world. I saw suffering, not only of children, but of
parents who, some are but children themselves. I learned that my naive,
blind trust of the goodness of people was waaay off base, but I feel
that has only helped me to protect myself in matters of the heart...I
certainly know more about the child welfare system than I ever thought I
would. But, I also know how it feels to change someone's life, to give
them a chance for a happy childhood, and a successful future...It was
like walking around for two years with my heart outside my body with no
protection, like being on the edge of the abyss... BUT "Yes" we would
do it again. And we are...we are back on the foster parent list and
awaiting a placement of up to 2 siblings.
My
purpose for sharing this blog was to not only keep a journal for my
daughter to have at some point when she is an adult, but also to
encourage adoption through foster care. I'm afraid my journey may point
some away from foster care, but I hope not. It has only made my faith
stronger, my heart bigger, my capability to love endless, and my joy
tremendous!!
May God Bless You in Your Journeys!
Queen Mama...
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