Part III ~ Little Princess

Ah, Little Princess.  She is a precious little angel baby.  When she first arrived, for the first couple of months, she didn't usually make direct eye contact.  When feeding with a bottle, we would try to stare into her eyes to bond, but she would turn away.  Even babies have a reaction to being moved from place to place, person to person.  She had been in 6 different places before she came to us.  Her bio parents gave her to many different friends, then she went to her Grandparents, Temporary Foster parents, then us.  She would scream for an hour at a time for no reason.  She slept very lightly and was up several times during the night.  We have since found out that she was exposed to alcohol and drugs prenatally, and I believe she could've been having withdrawals or fetal alcohol effects.  We were told that sometimes it takes months for the effects of drugs to wear off, and that alcohol is so much worse for the baby than drugs.  Her bio mom was a daily alcoholic drinker.    After about 4 months with us, she was acting like a "normal" baby.  Happy, content, smiling, cooing, making eye contact, bonding.  She certainly has made her way into our hearts.
So, we have had Princess for 10 1/2 months now.  She just turned 15 mos. Nothing is final yet, and it has been a roller coaster ride getting to this point.  Peter Pan and Princess had weekly visits with their mother and father.  Mom came for the first 2 visits, then never came again.  The courts don't know where she is.  Dad came for about 1 month and then told me that he didn't want Princess.  He wanted to let us adopt her.  He only wanted the oldest two of his children because he knew he couldn't care for them all.  I thought we were home free.  We had Princess all to ourselves with no bio parent visits for 5 months.  We were sure she would be ours forever.  Then, the paternal grandparents stepped in.  They decided they wanted full custody of our little Princess!  We went to court and the judge denied them custody, but granted weekly supervised visits.  Grandma was still in recovery from surgery and not in good health.  He also questioned why they waited so long to step in.  He felt baby had bonded well with our family as she had no parental visits for so long and was with us for so long. After almost crying in the courtroom because I was so nervous and upset, we walked out hopeful.  We took Princess to her weekly visits with the grandparents and had another court hearing after a couple months with the grandparents.  The judge wanted to make sure everyone was participating fully and the judge determined that the grandparents should now have visits in their home.  So, every other weekend, Princess goes to their home for a few hours.  It has worked out well. They love her very much and seem to take good care of her while she is there.
Then, the Dad started showing up at visits again.   We had yet another court hearing a month later to make sure all was well, and the grandparents stated in court that they would no longer oppose our adoption.  Hooray!  The Dad stood up and said he wanted full custody of his daughter.  He has an action plan that he just started doing after a year.  The judge determined it was probably too late.  We have another hearing in March to determine final placement.  Dad is still visiting.  He informed me he has a new girlfriend who I have since met.  SHE informed me SHE wants the children.  Aha-that explains it.  There is a lot more between the lines info that makes this case very complicated that I am not including for privacy reasons.
I must also add that Bid Daddy, who was unsure of adoption, is completely, totally, head over heels in love with the Little Princess.  She is Big Daddy's baby girl.  He is so gentle, kind and loving.  With the boys, he is wonderful also, but with Princess, a whole other side of him shines.  I will be devastated if she goes back to her bio family, but I think Big Daddy may end up in the nuthouse if she does!

So, we will have to wait and see.  I am fearful that this baby will be sent back to poverty, homelessness, an angry environment, and who knows what else.  My children are very attached as well.  We knew that baby going back was a possibility from day 1, but we don't like to think about it.  We are handing over our worries to God and pray that he places her in the safest, most loving environment.

So, from here on out, I will be posting instead of permanent paging.  If you have a question or comment, please ask and I will do my best to answer in a timely fashion.  If you are going through a foster adopt process or already have, I'd love to hear from you.
God Bless You and Your Family!
The Queen Mama