Well friends, it is now October. Almost 2 full years since we
adopted Princess, and only one true placement since then. (Annie,
that I told you about in former posts.) I am getting so frustrated. We
have had about 3 phone calls over the past year, but they were all for
boys, one of whom was autistic. Now, I have nothing against boys, as I
have 3 of my own. It's just that, if we are adding to our family, it
would be nice to have a sister for Princess. Also, my youngest son
does not do well with other younger boys in the house, as we had Princess's brother in the beginning. Granted, my son was only 4, but I
still don't think he would like another boy. He has always equated
himself as being the "baby" boy in the house, and I think he feels
threatened when another baby boy comes into the mix.....
Anyway,
since it's time for our foster parent annual renewal certification, I
got the nerve up and called the head of our foster care department and
just laid it on the line. I asked her straight up if she felt we should
continue fostering for our county, or go somewhere else. She said Yes,
why? I said, well, it's our recertification time, and it's been over a year
since we re-signed up, and no children. Are we ever going to get any
children???? (Yes, that's exactly what I said!) I asked her if we were
being discriminated against because we have a "large" family in some
people's eyes, reminding her that our law states that we can have up to 6
children in our home.
She reassured me that it just takes time,
that she actually looked at our name the other day because she needed to
place boys, but remembered we wanted girls. She said everyone (other
foster families) is just about full (meaning they all have placements),
except us and one other family. Um....hello...how do you think that
makes me feel? Save us til you feel you have to use us? I do know that
another family that has also adopted and are still foster parents do
not have any placements. We talked with them at our last training a few
months ago.
I think since we have already adopted, they are
giving the newer families children first, which makes sense. But, I
also know for a fact that they also place kids with their contracted
agencies, and I'm pretty sure they are calling them before they call
us.. I also think she thinks we have too many kids. She has said before
that four is a lot of kids to take care of. This is coming from
someone who has no children. Let me tell you, once you have three
children, you can have ten. Once your life is crazy, it's easy to add
to the craziness, lol! .You always hear how foster families are
needed, that there are so many kids ready to be adopted in this country,
yet a loving, Christian family with a nice home, who is financially
stable, and would love to have more children isn't given the chance. I
research adoption and foster care all the time. I have seen countless,
and I mean countless families who have 10, 15, and sometimes more than
20 adopted children through foster care!! I got a letter from our state
network (that all foster parents get) that states different trainings
for caseworkers, and one of them was about how not to discriminate
against large families, and that studies have shown that foster/adopted
children thrive in larger families..... I feel like time is
ticking..must be my biological clock.
I know everything happens in
God's time, but my patience is being tested. On a new note, just
found out that our daughter's bio father just had another baby girl with
someone (not bio mom)...His mother told me. She feels it is not a good
thing and asked us if we would take her in if her son gets involved
with the county again. I told her of course we would. So now, I am
dwelling on that possibility. Maybe that is in God's plan, and why we
have not had any permanent placements? Breathe in, breathe out...One
day at time...
Prayers for all of you foster mamas out there!
Blessings,
Queen Mama
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