"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him." 1 Samuel 1:27
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Monday, February 27, 2012

Dear God, Are we Ever Going to be placed with more Children?

Well friends, it is now October.  Almost 2 full years since we adopted Princess, and only one true placement since then.  (Annie, that I told you about in former posts.)  I am getting so frustrated.  We have had about 3 phone calls over the past year, but they were all for boys, one of whom was autistic.  Now, I have nothing against boys, as I have 3 of my own.  It's just that, if we are adding to our family, it would be nice to have a sister for Princess.  Also, my youngest son does not do well with other younger boys in the house, as we had Princess's brother in the beginning.  Granted, my son was only 4, but I still don't think he would like another boy.  He has always equated himself as being the "baby" boy in the house, and I think he feels threatened when another baby boy comes into the mix.....
Anyway, since it's time for our foster parent annual renewal certification, I got the nerve up and called the head of our foster care department and just laid it on the line.  I asked her straight up if she felt we should continue fostering for our county, or go somewhere else.  She said Yes, why?  I said, well, it's our recertification time, and it's been over a year since we re-signed up, and no children.  Are we ever going to get any children????  (Yes, that's exactly what I said!)  I asked her if we were being discriminated against because we have a "large" family in some people's eyes, reminding her that our law states that we can have up to 6 children in our home.
She reassured me that it just takes time, that she actually looked at our name the other day because she needed to place boys, but remembered we wanted girls.  She said everyone (other foster families)  is just about full (meaning they all have placements), except us and one other family.  Um....hello...how do you think that makes me feel?  Save us til you feel you have to use us?  I do know that another family that has also adopted and are still foster parents do not have any placements.  We talked with them at our last training a few months ago.
I think since we have already adopted, they are giving the newer families children first, which makes sense.  But, I also know for a fact that they also place kids with their contracted agencies, and I'm pretty sure they are calling them before they call us.. I also think she thinks we have too many kids.  She has said before that four is a lot of kids to take care of.   This is coming from someone who has no children.  Let me tell you, once you have three children, you can have ten.  Once your life is crazy, it's easy to add to the craziness, lol!   .You always hear how foster families are needed, that there are so many kids ready to be adopted in this country, yet a loving, Christian family with a nice home, who is  financially stable, and would love to have more children isn't given the chance.    I research adoption and foster care all the time.  I have seen countless, and I mean countless families who have 10, 15, and sometimes more than 20 adopted children through foster care!!  I got a letter from our state network (that all foster parents get)  that states different trainings for caseworkers, and one of them was about how not to discriminate against large families, and that studies have shown that foster/adopted children thrive in larger families..... I feel like time is ticking..must be my biological clock.
I know everything happens in God's time, but my patience is being tested.   On a new note, just found out that our daughter's bio father just had another baby girl with someone (not bio mom)...His mother told me.  She feels it is not a good thing and asked us if we would take her in if her son gets involved with the county again.  I told her of course we would.  So now, I am dwelling on that possibility.  Maybe that is in God's plan, and why we have not had any permanent placements?  Breathe in, breathe out...One day at time...
Prayers for all of you foster mamas out there!
Queen Mama

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